


I'd strangle you if I didn't need you

by chowderr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Support, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Moving In Together, Platonic Relationships, Post-First War with Voldemort, Regulus Black Deserves Better, Regulus Black Lives, Remus Lupin & Regulus Black friendship, Remus Lupin Lives, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Roommates, Sirius Black Lives, Two sad bitches, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:43:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29957703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chowderr/pseuds/chowderr
Summary: The very last thing Regulus Black ever expected was to see his older brother arrested for murder. He's not sure how to react. Hell, he feels completely lost until he sees Remus Lupin and realizes he needs to be there for his brother's friend. It's the only way he can think to cope with the situation. Besides, it seems they could both use a buddy.Alternatively, everything is the same, except Regulus is alive and tries to befriend Remus after Sirius' conviction. Remus and Regulus' relationship is purely platonic, Remus and Sirius' was not.TW: some darker themes may be discussed (suicide, eating disorders, etc.)
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Regulus Black & Remus Lupin, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	I'd strangle you if I didn't need you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanna say happy birthday to my lil baby boy remus mwah mwah march 10th everybody remember it cause it's a sad day but it's still his day!!

No one fully understood what happened on the Halloween night of 1981. Least of all Regulus Black. He didn't even hear the news until a week later when he grabbed a copy of the Daily Prophet and saw the face of his older brother staring up at him with a look that one could only describe as insanity. He could barely read the article before throwing it to the side and storming out of his flat. Sirius was supposed to be the good brother. He was always supposed to be the one that  _ didn't  _ follow in Walburga and Orion's footsteps, and yet he'd somehow killed his own friend and twelve muggle bystanders. James and Lily Potter were dead, Peter Pettigrew was dead. Sirius Black was in Azkaban. It wasn't as though Regulus was close with any of them, he'd hardly know James, Lily, and Peter, and he and Sirius had drifted more and more apart as the years went on, but that didn't do anything to help the sting in his heart. What was Regulus to do? Well nothing, he supposed. There wasn't anything he  _ could  _ do. What's done is done.

Two days later, and a thought struck Regulus over the head as he laid in bed. Remus Lupin. He and Sirius had always seemed closer than one would expect, how was he faring? He'd lost his four closest friends in a single night, hadn't he? That couldn't do much good for a person's mental health. So Regulus set to work. He looked up the man in a phone book and sure enough, there he was. Only Lupin in the book, aside from the couple that Regulus assumed to be his parents. After almost twenty minutes of deliberation, Regulus dialed the number, impatiently waiting and tapping his foot along with the ring. Right before he was about to hang up, the call was accepted. 

"Hullo?" A groggy, scratchy voice came from the other side of the line.

"Am I speaking to Remus Lupin?" Regulus asked, praying he put in the number correctly.

"This is he. If you're selling something, I don't want it," Remus sounded exhausted. He sounded sad. Far more than Regulus remembered him sounding.

"No, no. I'm not selling anything. This is Regulus." The other line went silent for a few moments.

"Regulus Black?"

"Yes." 

"Why are you calling me?" The man's tone made his words sound less like a question and much more like an accusation, and truth be told it startled Regulus.

"I just- I heard the news. I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Yeah, who fucking hasn't. I'm fine, thanks. Goodbye, Regulus."

"Please don't hang up-!" he hurried to get a word in edgewise while he still could, and much to his surprise, the other man didn't hang up. "Could we talk? In person, I mean." Silence again.

"Why?" Oh come on now, Lupin. don't be difficult. 

"I think we both need it, Lupin. Some clarity, I mean.” A third silence. Merlin, how many times was this guy going to leave Regulus hanging?

“Fine. Does central park work? 2pm tomorrow?" The annoyance in Lupin's voice was very obvious.

"Yeah, that's grea-"

"Great. Bye." Before Regulus could say anything else, the other line went silent, for good this time. Well, he'd hung up rather quickly. Not as though he was likely to have anywhere to be, the man was just being plain rude. Maybe Regulus had to cut him some slack, though. It wouldn't be a surprise to find out he'd been through a lot over the past week.

The rest of the day was spent moping around the flat with absolutely nothing to do. Regulus didn't have a job, he didn't need one, so he didn't have any good distractions either. Every day, he was left completely to his own musings and nothing but radio silence as he stared at the landline, wishing desperately someone would call. Anyone, really. His so-called friends from Hogwarts had all scattered as soon as they graduated, not that Regulus ever even liked them much. They were all horrible people. Death eaters, the lot of them, but that wasn't a surprise considering Regulus' own parents were the same. It disgusted him. Always had, despite his constant attempts to keep them happy. Now, though, he'd given up on Walburga and Orion Black. There was no hope left for them, and he'd wasted years trying to please them. He'd gotten out, at least. Out of that circle. And Voldemort was gone, for now at least. Regulus knew that was only temporary. Hell, he had the locket with a piece of Voldemort's soul in it, but he couldn't bring himself to warn anyone, not when they all seemed so content with their celebrations of victory.

The hours drifted past, one by one, each as painfully slow and dreary as the last. Regulus had reorganized his entire wardrobe at least ten times by 1pm the next day, and he still had an hour to go. Maybe he'd take a nap… yeah, that sounded nice. So a nap he took. Alas, when you've barely slept for three or four days, naps often happen to be accidentally extended. Regulus awoke at 1:57pm, undressed and drowsy. He feared there wasn't time to get dressed, though. Remus had sounded reluctant on this meet up, if Regulus was late, it was highly likely that Remus wouldn't bother to wait around for long. 

One very noisy, cramped, and just all around annoying bus ride later, Regulus stepped onto the pathway in the park and began wandering around, keeping an eye out for a man he'd hopefully be able to recognize. He remembered Remus being tall. Extremely tall. Lots of scars too, for some unknown reason. He wasn't a very run of the mill person, frankly, so Regulus wasn't too worried about spotting him.

Well, he wasn't worried at first. After fifteen minutes or so though, he started too. maybe he'd left. Maybe he hadn't even come in the first place. Merlin, whatever. This whole idea was stupid, why did Regulus care about some guy his convicted brother was friends with? Exactly, he didn't. Or at least, he didn't until he saw a strikingly familiar man walking in his direction. Sure enough, it was Remus. Of course he'd showed right as Regulus was going to give up. Just peachy.

"Hello," Regulus said, standing up from the bench he'd taken refuge on and holding out his hand. The other man looked at him suspiciously before taking his hand and shaking it firmly with a small nod. "Right. Erm-"

"What's this about, then? Clarity?" Remus sounded mad. His eyes were red, so either he'd been crying or he was high. Neither surprised Regulus. Honestly, the poor guy looked horrible. His hair had already been shaggy in school, but now it was completely unkempt, an overgrown mullet that fell down to his shoulders, the bangs just barely able to reveal his tired eyes.

"Clarity is close enough, though I did say that, didn't I? How have you been faring?" Remus looked skinnier than Regulus remembered. Skinnier and paler. Almost sickly. It was… sad. It was obvious he hadn't been faring well. Much to Regulus' surprise, the man standing in front of him let out a bark of laughter.

"What, do you suppose I've been doing  _ well _ ? You've eyes, don't you?" 

"I didn't want to assume-"

"Assume away, Black. Not much you can say to fuck me up any more."

"You look like shit." Remus laughed again. It was a nice laugh, one of the ones that made you want to laugh along with them. 

"Really? I couldn't tell, mate."

"You're nicer in person than you are on the phone, you know." 

"Yeah, I know. Guess it's easier to be a dick over the phone than face to face, huh?" Regulus laughed this time. Not full, like Remus had, but he gave a small chuckle in response.

"I guess so."

"Not sure if it helps your case or not that you look just like him." Remus' expression changed when he said that. Some strained mix of sadness and anger, which was completely understandable. Regulus knew how much he resembled Sirius.

"I'm just as conflicted about it as you, trust me. If it helps at all, I'm far less loud than he."

"That doesn't surprise me." Remus grew silent for a few moments, his gaze drifting down to the ground and his small grin faltering.

"You two were close, weren't you?" He earned a nod in response. Regulus sat back down and patted the space on the bench next to him. Remus obliged.

"Closer than most would think,"

"What's that mean?" Though Regulus had already sort of pieced it together, he didn't want to suggest it without confirmation.

"He was my everything, and now he's gone. What do I have left?" That was still slightly vague, but it seemed safe enough to assume the two men had been lovers. Regulus had already suspected Sirius was homosexual for years anyways. He'd been raised to be completely against it, but he'd never been able to see why it was as disgusting as his family insisted. A little out of the ordinary and slightly strange, sure, but not disgusting. He'd never be rude to someone because of it.

"I'm sure you still have plenty left, Lupin. It's just hard to see it right now," Before Regulus could say another word, Remus had begun to cry, tears streaming heavily down his cheeks as sobs ricocheted through his chest. Oh dear. Regulus sat there and watched him cry in silence, only moving once to awkwardly pat the other's shoulder. He was no good at comforting. After three or four minutes, Remus managed to compose himself enough to speak.

"'m sorry, I shouldn't-" he took a pause of very clear frustration with himself. "You're his family, I shouldn't be the one crying…"

A cloud drifted in front of the sun, causing the already dark grey sky to become even more so. Regulus watched the fog swirl about in the distance, his nose beginning to turn red from the cold. It was fitting that they'd have this discussion on such a dreary day. 

"I may be his brother, but you and James were more his family than I ever was."He took a pause of very clear frustration with himself. "You're his family, I shouldn't be the one crying…" 

A cloud drifted in front of the sun, causing the already dark grey sky to become even more so. Regulus watched the fog swirl about in the distance, his nose beginning to turn red from the cold. It was fitting that they'd have this discussion on such a dreary day. 

"I may be his brother, but you and James were more his family than I ever was." He sighed. “I’ve never been much of a brother. I looked up to him, but I couldn’t help him.”

“We couldn’t either-”

“...So it would seem.”


End file.
